nyadar

tadi malem, disela-sela gejolak PMSnya, cewe gue menghardik dan protest kalo gue suka banget nge 'heh?'in dia,

maksudnya pas dia nanya sesuatu, menurutnya, gue selalu ngereply dengan "heh?"pendek, yang intinya memintanya untuk mengulang pertanyaan, padahal menurut dia gue aselinya udah paham tuh pertanyaan apaan..

gue shock, itu kan usil banget..

sebagai tambahan, dia mengira itu cara gue membuatnya sebel

dan setelah gue ngomong ma temen kerja yang duduk di sebelah gue selama dua tahun ini, ternyata gue, menurut dia juga, lebih parah! gue suka ga ngedengerin dia kalo lagi crita, suka memotong saat yang ga tepat dan komen jauh sesudah topiknya lewat..

weleh

hmm gue punya lumayan banyak temen yang lebih parah siii... atau mungkin ga lebih parah dari gue kali ye?!!

si pipim misalnya, suka banget mendengarkan cerita hanya untuk menghubungkan cerita itu dengan hal yang sama dalam hidupnya, bukan mendengar untuk menelaah tapi untuk menceritakan kembali cerita yang serupa tapi dengan tokoh berbeda, dia.

Iskandar lain lagi, dia suka bertanya, dan saat dijawab seperti benar2 mendengarkan, sampai dia menanyakan lagi suatu hal yang benar2 berbeda dari topic pembicaraan, dan setelah dijawab dia menanyakan hal lain yang benar2 berbeda lagi.. benar2 menyebalkan! seolah2 saat lo ngomong, dia tenggelam dalam pemikirannya sendiri tentang hal lain, dan tidak mendengarkan, "saatmu berbicara adalah saatku berpikir"

dan ternyata gue juga ga lebih baik!!

aaaaaaah


cape deeeeh


oke

learn to be a better listener, learn to be a better person

now

time after time

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock ticks, and think of you
Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new
Flash back, warm night, almost left behind
Suitcase of memories...
Time after

Sometime you pictured me, I'm walking too far ahead
You're callin' to me, I can't hear what you've said
You said, "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds...

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me,
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting,
Time after time

I turn, my picture fades, and darkness has turned to grey
Watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm okay
Secrets, stolen, from deep inside,
The drum beats out of time...

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me,
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting,
Time after time

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me,
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting,
Time after time

Time after time...

this job

this job, was first planned to just a filling, to support my life here in Jakarta while looking for a more serious job with a career, to just be a stepping stone for.. well.. six months at most.. but now, despite of me continuously looking for a replacement, i have magically transported to the future, two years, i have stayed in this job for two years! dammit!

good points about this job are;
1. i'm familiar with it;
2. it's short, which is just less than 12 hours, which is comfortable
3. I haven't found the better one, so yeah it's slightly okay..

negative points about this job are:
1. there's no career.
2. no increase of knowledge
3. no future
4. no development whatsoever.

so despite all the good things, the bad things are just vital and severe, what's familiarity with no career? what's comforts with no future, and heck i'm wasting my time here..

i'm fighting, struggling to get a better one, but what if i grow on this job, what if it's going to take a longer time, and what if the outcome doesn't go out as it is supposed to according to my ideal, what if i failed? no guarantee for a success in keep trying..

i can say that despite my sucky working life, i've got the prettiest gal fren..

but not until recently..

I realized a scary point in this relationship; while i see this job as a curse, she sees me like my job, the one which supposed to be a fling for several months. She grew on me, linger even longer, a careless indecision which is doomed to be regretted. While i see myself making these lists, she too probably making the exact list about me..

damn..

so what's ur decision now beb?