life part 1

gue tulis part one, karena pasti ada suatu saat dimasa depan dimana gue curhat lagi tentang life, dan dikemudian hari, posting itu akan berjudul life part 2.

samar2 teringat John Paul, temen jaman kuliah, pernah bilang sembari naik pespa butut yang perlu di genjot 40kalian sebelum idup bahwa "sometimes life just sucks".

Andrea, temen kantor gue, barusan menangis dengan tersedu2 sambil ngendeprok dilantai padahal pake baju rapi dan rok item karena cover dua komiknya yang bakal di release sebentar lagi diubah total dan jadwal releasenya di undur.

Andreas, temen kantor gue juga, ngabisin sekitar lima biji roko gue buat curhat tentang tiga temen milis-nya yang berseteru karena salah pengertian intonasi kalimat yang seharusnya dianggap biasa. Dia merasa bertanggung jawab karena dialah founder milis itu, moderator dan orang yang berasa memiliki, bertanggung jawab dan seharusnya mengayomi dengan bijaksana. in his own word 'sensitive'

Agus, temen kantor gue juga.. well basically.. everyone have their own problem.

bokap tiri gue sering bilang sebuah kalimat, yang menurut gue dia ambil dan terus diucapkan biar ga lupa, dan seperti Chuck Norris buat sebagian orang yang gue kenal, adalah jawaban bagi semua permasalahan.. that "life is about solving the problem"

but life sometimes just sucks

at one point, I envy Andrea for being able to cry over her problems.. and not keeping it with logic so not come to an end where logic fails..

at one point, I envy Andreas for still finding smoking five cigarettes helps.. and not stuck in a condition where everything else fails as an escape..

and I certainly envy Agus for being who he is.. the no problem guy, the keep it to myself guy.. for being able to keep everything under control even when he's the only one to do it..

..

I'm running out of words

secret garden

she'll let you in her house
if you come knockin' late at night
she'll let you in her mouth
if the words you say are right
if you pay the price
she'll let you deep inside
but there's a secret garden she hides

she'll let you in her car
to go drivin' round
she'll let you into the parts of herself
that'll bring you down
she'll let you in her heart
if you got a hammer and a vise
but into her secret garden, don't think twice

you've gone a million miles
how far'd you get
to that place where you can't remember
and you can't forget

she'll lead you down a path
there'll be tenderness in the air
she'll let you come just far enough
so you know she's really there
she'll look at you and smile
and her eyes will say
she's got a secret garden
where everything you want
where everything you need
will always stay

a million miles away

you are so beautiful

you are so beautiful
to me
you are so beautiful
to me

can't you see
you're everything I hope for
you're everything I need

you are so beautiful
to me

so what does it take

the deprivation of love leaves a hole in the land where used to be a tree
rooted deep in through the soil..

and as love is deprived, the land becomes dry, grasses stop growing and the sun is nothing but a scorching ball of fire..

and land becomes a mass of graves, burying whatever remains, memories of the past, dying in each minute passed..

rain would come, but it brings nothing but flood, taking layers and layers of what could be the departing future of a generation..

for to set back into whence it started, a seed is needed, and nurturing it to life takes time, both rain and the sun..

and as fear is embedded within the living land's ability to adapt, it becomes un-nurturing, twice as careful and less braver than any land..

so what does it take?

as 'crave' becomes an enemy of the land, crave for an instant tree, growing with its root delving deep within the soil, with leaves hoovering the green grasses of hope and expectation..

making the sun a redeeming wave of hand in the morning..

what does it take?