repentance

image courtesy of noahakumu

repent (rəˈpent) verb

1. (especially in religion) to be sorry for one's past sins.

2. (with of) to wish that one had not done, made etc. 

reˈpentance noun

re pentant adjective

repentance is the fifth track on Dream Theatre's 2007 Systematic Chaos album, which song itself is the sixth part of a multi-album songs series about then drummer Mike Portnoy's way of confronting his own alcoholism problem

various information revealed that the song is apparently revolves around the steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program, particularly steps eight (regret) and nine (restitution) or making a list of people whom one has wronged and, if possible, making direct amends with them. 

Portnoy called this collections of songs Twelve-Step suite, while other songs within the multi-album series include The Mirror, Lie, The Glass Prison, This Dying Soul, The Root of All Evil, and the seventh after Repentance, The Shattered Fortress.

I don't know where each song go in which album, as I'm just an occasional Dream Theatre fan, but you could check them on dt.spatang.com which is a great source of inside information for some, if not all, DT materials.

what fascinate me about this song was the fact that he asked a number of friends, for him, great musicians for us and awesome music gods for me, at least some of them, to do their own versions of repentance, contributed spoken words to the second part of the song. in no particular orders they are:

Steve Vai - "I want to thank you for helping me to see my own selfishness and to tell you how regretful I am it has hurt you."

Joe Satriani - "I really regret not being able to see my friend Andy..."

Mikael Åkerfeldt - "One of my best friends who's the godfather of my daughter, he asked me to sing or play something at his wedding, and I turned it down because I was busy and too much of a chickenshit to do it...And I feel sorry for that, because it was a very very close friend of mine"

Corey Taylor - "Until that moment, I'd never felt like I'd failed at anything...And I felt like I failed her...And I failed myself, and I failed my children...It's still really hard to deal with."

Jon Anderson - "I think it's the betrayal...it still haunts me."

Chris Jericho - "I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital, Grandpa when you were on your deathbed. I'm sorry I didn't come to your funeral...I don't know if I was selfish or just too scared to face it. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life."

Steven Wilson - "So, I wanted to apologize to anyone that I've upset or offended.. they're just words, it's just an opinion, but unfortunately, I tend to express it as a fact, and that's kind of arrogant."

David Ellefson - "I'm here to confess with you that what I did, was wrong... And I'm asking for your forgiveness"

Steve Hogarth - "The only unforgivable thing hauls itself out of bed, looks over my shoulder at the bloody English weather..."

Neal Morse - "I'm sorry for what I did back then... I was a different person. I really was and I'm so sorry. I wish it wouldn't have happened, but it did, and I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm sorry..."

Daniel Gildenlöw - "I guess I'm simply sorry for being me just so awful to the people..."

The song's ending also contains a spoken passage, which apparently is the twelve promises from the Alcoholics Anonymous book:

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If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that god is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. 

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one thing that strikes me upon hearing this song is that, as a normal human being, at least that's what I'd like to think of me, we all have regrets, past sins, and sometimes we need to let it out, make a direct apology when possible or make that apology ourselves if not. 

and what's so great about this song is that everybody can be a part of it, and in one non particular evening, I heard something coming out of my mouth

- "I wish I could repeat again those periods of time during your visit... I wish I could make you happier, I'm sorry for being such a jerk the whole time. I really regret it. I'm sorry..."